Happy Birthday

6.18.21

Happy Birthday

Funny, recalling your special day
When I haven’t thought of you in decades

We collided
Still recovering
From deep wounds bestowed by others

Two unloved souls
Searching for someone to love us
A toxic brew

You shocked me
Rocked me to the core
Took me to the brink
The abyss of psychic disintegration
A terrifying, out-of-control freefall

Oh, how I suffered
The pain you inflicted

But you were “the one”
Who forced me to save myself

I recall the pivotal moment
I hit bottom
My suppressed self-preservation instinct
Kicked up a holy ruckus

Enough!

Choosing the slow slog toward mental health
I began the search for self-love
And abandoned the quest for yours

Permitting myself to set boundaries
Standards
Rules of Engagement

Never again
To cede power
To someone bent on my deconstruction

Today, on your special day,
I thank you
For the greatest gift I could receive

You gave me

ME